(Don’t forget to read Act 1, Scene 1 in our October edition!)
(In this scene the stage setup is divided up into two sections. In the beginning there is only one spotlight and it is on Rhonda and her mother. Rhonda is at home sitting on the couch in a terribly bad mood while she is filing her nails. Ophelia who is Rhonda’s mother is at home drying dishes with a towel in her kitchen sink.)
(Ophelia picks up the phone and dials her daughter’s phone number.)
Rhonda: (Hears the phone and greets angrily) what?!
Ophelia: What?! (Softly) That is no way to greet your loving and charismatic mother. What’s wrong pumpkin, did you and Larry get into a lovers’ quarrel?
Rhonda: Not exactly… Mom you remember that important bit of information I was telling you last night?
Ophelia: Of course I do that’s why I was calling you in the first place, so is it a boy or a girl?
Rhonda: Mom, how can you be so clueless when it comes to having children you had me, Koby, Sandra, and Clarice. I don’t know anything like that yet, the appointment this morning was just to let me know if I was pregnant or not. It wasn’t to find out the specifics of my baby. I don’t find that out till next week on Thursday on my next appointment.
Ophelia: Well you don’t have to be a brain scientist to know how to have a baby dear. (Looking sad or hurt) And it wasn’t my fault I never learned anything while I was pregnant. I spent most of my pregnancies on my back.
Rhonda: Gross mother! I don’t want to hear about you and dad’s sex lives.
Ophelia: That’s not what I meant pumpkin, (Looks up reminiscing)though that is partially true… (Snapping out of it) What I was saying is that pregnancy is hard. You spend most of it with pains and aches. You learn everything from yourself and the experience of others who have been through the same situation that you are right now.
Rhonda: Well all I’m saying, is that I’ve had plenty of time to prepare for this moment.
Ophelia: Whatever you say dear… Now what other information were you referring to?
Rhonda: Well last night remember me telling you that I wasn’t sure Larry was the father of my baby?
Ophelia: Yes and do you remember me saying to keep your mouth shut?
Rhonda: Yes well, I didn’t… (Speaking fast) Now before you say anything let me finish. Larry and I went to get the results from the doctor, and all of a sudden Larry starts talking about not starting a family yet, and he was being so obnoxious to the cute doctor that I just lost it, and it came out like word vomit.
Ophelia: (Calmly) Can I speak now?
Rhonda: (Looking confused) Yes? (Rhonda cringes away from the telephone as her mother yells at her)
Ophelia: (Angrily) are you insane! How could you tell him that? Now who’s going to take care of you for nine months! I am too old and too tired to have a baby at this age…
Rhonda: It’s always about you isn’t it? And I’m not insane mother. I just couldn’t stop myself. He was trying to tell me to get an abortion, like I had no say in what our decision was as a couple…
Ophelia: You married him and you promised to stay true to this man, I’m not showing you any sympathy. You’re the one who cheated on your husband.
Rhonda: I know, I know but it just makes me so mad, I can’t believe I married that egotistical bastard. It was just one of those spur of the moment type of things, (laughs while saying) which you know you’re going to regret doing later but you do it anyway because it seems like it will be lots of fun. Boy was I wrong.
Ophelia: Aren’t you the least bit sorry for what pain you’re causing him? I mean does marriage not mean anything to you child? I raised you better than that. What have I always told you when it comes to cheating?
Rhonda: (mimicking her mother) “If you’re going to cheat on your man make sure your on birth control or you use a condom, just so you don’t get caught dear.” (Coming back to the subject) I do feel bad mother, but it’s not like he was calling me, telling me it was all going to be okay. He didn’t even call me to tell me he loved me. He made me feel unloved, and I needed someone to talk to. That day I went to my biology class and I met a boy named Jonathon. He was so hot and I couldn’t help myself. He was deliciously yummy and he began flattering me, telling me I was beautiful. That day we just kind of hit it off. He invited me to go to Vegas with him and I said yes. Now let me tell you one thing. They say what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, but I’m living proof that it doesn’t happen that way. I mean it’s not like I can just take the baby back to Vegas and complain that they lied.
Ophelia: That’s ridiculous dear, if you’re going to do that you would need to Fed ex the baby. They have that new promotion if it fits it ships. Besides they would never let you just give it to them, believe me I’ve tried. What this all comes down to, is whether you’re affair with Mr. Yummy is worth losing Mr. Crummy.
Rhonda: Well it was a great night and when I say great I mean GREEEAT. I can remember it just like it was yesterday (Gazes off into space.)
Ophelia: (sighs) my daughters a whore…
Rhonda: (Comes back down to earth) what was that mother?
Ophelia: Oh, nothing dear. So have you contacted Jonathon to let him know that you’re pregnant with his love child?
Rhonda: Uh no, not yet I mean he has three children with his high school sweetheart. I don’t think he’ll be too thrilled to find out he has another one on the way. And besides I don’t exactly know what the right way to contact him is in this situation.
Ophelia: What do you mean you don’t know how to contact him? I would think you would call him and let him know. (Getting carried away) This is life changing information and he needs to know as soon as possible. It’s not like the time you killed your sister’s goldfish and flushed him down the toilet without telling her what happened to him.
Rhonda: Mother, I am not retarded I just don’t know how to approach the subject. A call is just so impersonal.
Ophelia: Well there are other ways you can go about this situation.
Rhonda: Mother, it’s not like I can just to post a billboard next to highway 87 saying, “John this is Ronnie from college I’m pregnant with your bastard baby.” I mean that’s sure going to catch his attention, (playfully) unless it’s bad news to him and he changes his identity and moves to Mexico.
Ophelia: This is not a joking matter young lady, this is your life.
Rhonda: I know mom… (Pauses) You know that’s not the worst part of the news I had today.
Ophelia: Good lord, what happened? (Knock at Rhonda’s door)
Rhonda: Hey mom, can I call you back there’s someone at the front door.
Ophelia: Okay pumpkin but you better call me back. Last time you said you would call me back but… (Rhonda hangs up just after the second knock at the door.) You didn’t. Well I’ve never been so disrespected in my life… (Ophelia exits the scene from the right side of the stage)
(Rhonda gets up to answer the door. When she opens the door she takes a step back as Jonathon steps inside of her home. He has a black eye. He smiles at her while her face is in shock.)
Ronnie: Jonathon, what the hell?
Jonathon: (ignoring her question) so, want to hear something funny?
Ronnie: Right now really isn’t the time for that Jonathon. It’s a good thing you are here there’s something I really need to tell you. I was going to call you when I got off the phone with my mother, but since you’re already here why not make the best of it.
Jonathon: (Ignoring her again) so I’m in the deli getting my special, when I notice your husband coming toward me. I waved at him and you want to know what? Your husband gave me a surprise present that’s nonrefundable. (Points to his black eye) Now what I want to know is what great honorable thing did I do this time to deserve such a noble present?
Ronnie: Well that’s a long story… You might want to take a seat this may take a while.
(End of scene 2)